he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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