Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
