so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
