we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
