the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
...so i touched it.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
