at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
