your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize