She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
