It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Randomize
