I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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