Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize