I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
