Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
