She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
