gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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