oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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