i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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