Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
