quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
