3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I stole a fireplace last night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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