Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize