turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Two words: blizzard sex
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
