oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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