wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize