He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
me + whiskey = a bad person
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
