so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
