Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
