She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
