I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
