I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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