We won't sleep together?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
