you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Randomize
