when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
