Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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