So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
