He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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