Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
