I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need a burrito and a hug.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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