you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
