dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
