Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
