He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
