New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I fill condoms, not promises.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
