she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
this hospital has no fireball
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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