i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
