im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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