I must be too annoying 4 u.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
