please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
