as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
