and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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