I'm lost and stupid without you.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
