I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
