so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Houston, we have a blender
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
