Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
