69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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