Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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