just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
