if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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