his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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