So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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