my sisters under your porch take her home
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
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