Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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